|
Chapter 6:
By this point in the story, you can tell things are reaching the boiling point. I liked the way you bring Virginia’s thoughts about Ed out as she comes into the room. She is content to be in his presence, even though he is working. And as she is thinking about Margaret, she feels his nearness. Heightened awareness by anticipation maybe?
Ed’s concern is really plucking at her heartstrings, and we find out that she has been contemplating the afterlife. (A side note, here, my mother saw my Great Grandmother several times after she had passed on. And I saw my father once, during a very troubling point in my life.) I can very well understand how Ginny must have been feeling to realize that there may have been some substance to the “visitations.” You captured the emotion very well. And for her to let herself cry in his arms, sends a message that she trusts him implicitly. Ed returns that trust by his admission that the mission has not been easy for him either. Trust is one of the most important aspects in any relationship.
They break the tension by lapsing into shop talk, something familiar to both of them. Ed, with a photographic memory, I believe that! I loved the bit about Ginny trying to distract herself while Ed was ordering dinner, concentrating on something that wouldn’t get her into trouble. Once he got off the phone and watched her work, she catches him with her glance; they don’t take their eyes off each other. The buildup here was great, and then it subsides somewhat as Ed finds out the true nature of Ginny’s relationship with Craig. That is a very interesting take, and I think it fits quite well with what was shown in the episode. Ginny’s declaration, “we weren’t exactly Romeo and Juliet,” makes much more sense now. The way you brought them to the point of passion was pure genius. Ed finally lets down his walls and gives her a hint about his thoughts about his marriage, and then the floodgates open and his heart just takes over. Wow!
Boom, “Room service.” Poor Ed, poor Ginny. Yes the passion of the moment is lost, for now. Humor is the enemy of desire, “Shall we?” Great job of stretching the tension here.
|
Pages: 
Fallen Heroes FDK (Read 26436 times)
HTML 5
